Kapri: 0:44

Hello and welcome. I'm your host, Kapri. Many of you have asked how do I embrace thoughts or emotions, or if I could provide you with some additional restful practices. So today, in this quick bonus episode, we're exploring the art of embracing thoughts, emotions and the critical role rest plays in mental and emotional wellbeing. These elements are deeply connected to how we process life's challenges, regulate our emotions and find resilience in the face of adversity. Rather than focusing on fixing or overcoming mental health challenges like anxiety, depression or stress, this episode is about understanding how to live with harmony within our inner world and within our inner self. Along the way, I'll share some personal stories or reflections to guide you through reflective exercises and offer practical strategies to integrate into your daily life. Let's start by reconnecting with ourselves, reframing negative thoughts, tuning in to our bodies and embracing rest as a foundation for overall well-being. Together, we'll explore how these practices can transform the way we care for our minds, body and spirit.

Kapri: 2:00

One of the most powerful yet often overlooked practices in self-care is simply pausing to notice what's happening inside of us. For many, it feels easier to suppress emotions, distract ourselves or ignore racing thoughts, but when we avoid these experiences, they don't go away. They often grow louder and more intense. So let's do a little exercise together. Let's pause for a moment, take a deep breath in and out. Now consider what am I feeling right now, what physical sensations do I notice in my body and what thoughts are passing through my mind? There's no right or wrong answer here. The goal isn't to judge or fix anything. It's simply to observe.

Kapri: 2:47

When I first began this practice, it was uncomfortable. I realized how much I had been avoiding my feelings because they felt too big to handle. But over time I learned that naming my emotions created space to address them with more clarity. There was a time in my life when I felt completely disconnected from myself. I was juggling multiple responsibilities and every day felt like I was running on autopilot. The constant pressure and noise left me feeling overwhelmed, but instead of addressing what was happening inside, I buried myself in work and distractions. So to give you a little bit of context into some of the things that I was juggling when I said that I had multiple responsibilities that I juggled. For starters, my mother suffered a massive stroke nearly three years ago now and thank God she is still with us. I continue to care for her. I'm full of gratitude that she is here with us, but she does require 24-7 care. Meanwhile, I was juggling, and continue to juggle, a full-time job which is very high stress, toxicity in the work environment and the overall workplace culture used to in terms of my day-to-day, and then, earlier this year, I was diagnosed with cancer. At some point over the last several years I started to lose touch with who I am and what I sit for and really prioritizing everyone else and not necessarily focusing on my self-care in a way that I had always done, and so I hope that gives you a little bit of clarity when I talk about juggling multiple responsibilities.

Kapri: 4:38

One evening after a particularly stressful day, I found myself sitting in a quiet room, too drained to do anything else. For the first time in what felt like months, I decided to pause and just notice. The reality was that it wasn't months, it was actually years. I closed my eyes and I asked myself what am I feeling right now? Immediately, a wave of emotion surfaced frustration, sadness and exhaustion. My body felt heavy, my shoulders were tense and my breath was shallow. It was uncomfortable, but it was also the first time I truly acknowledged how much I had been carrying. Instead of trying to push those feelings away. I sat with them. I described them to myself in my head like narrating what I was experiencing. My shoulders feel tight, like I've been holding up something heavy all day. My mind is racing with thoughts about deadlines and things I wish I had done differently. Naming these sensations and thoughts didn't make them disappear, but it gave me a sense of clarity. I realized that I had been so focused on doing and caring and achieving that I had completely neglected my own self-care, my being being present, being aware and being kind to myself. That moment was a turning point for me. It taught me that pausing to reconnect with myself wasn't just a nice thing to do. It was an essential must thing to do. It reminded me that I am not my stress or my to-do list, and that I can create space for peace even in the middle of chaos. From then on, I've made it a practice to check in with myself regularly, asking what am I feeling? What do I need right now? It's a simple act, but it has made all the difference in how I approach both challenges and opportunities.

Kapri: 6:30

We all have moments when negative thoughts feel overwhelming, as though they define who we are. But here's the truth Thoughts are not facts. They're often shaped by fears, past experiences or mental habits, and they can be challenged. So I began shifting perspective on negative thoughts, and so some questions to ask when you want to reframe thoughts is is this thought true? Is it always true? What happens when I believe this thought? Who would I be without this thought? So let's take an example. Imagine you're thinking I'm not good enough. Walking through these questions might reveal that this thought isn't true or that it only applies in specific moments. You might realize it's holding you back from seeing your strengths. Take a moment to identify one negative thought that you've been holding on, to Write it down if you can Now slowly walk through the questions Is this thought true? Is it always true? What happens when I believe this thought? Who would I be without this thought? Allow yourself time to reflect. Notice any shifts in your perspective.

Kapri: 7:43

I'll never forget a time when I was overwhelmed by the thought I'm not good enough. It seemed to creep into every area of my life, from my work to my relationships. I would tell myself that I wasn't achieving enough, that I wasn't keeping up with others and that I was somehow falling short of expectations. But the worst part was how much I believed it. It felt like an unchangeable truth and the more I focused on it, the more it took over. I started hesitating to speak up in meetings, doubting the quality of my work and second-guessing every decision I made. It was exhausting.

Kapri: 8:19

One day I decided to challenge that thought. I wrote it down I'm not good enough. Then I asked myself the first question is this thought true? My initial instinct was to say yes or maybe, but then I started listing all the things I had done recently that disproved it. I thought about a project I had successfully completed, the support that I provided to a friend, and even the little things like keeping up with my responsibilities, despite feeling this way. Then I asked is it always true? The answer was a resounding no. I could think of plenty of times when I felt proud of myself or when others had acknowledged my contributions. That realization chipped away at the power of the thought. The next two questions were even more transformative. What happens when I believe this thought? I realized it made me shrink. It kept me from trying new things, celebrating my wins or even showing up fully in my own life. And finally, who would I be without this thought? That question hit me hard. Without it, I would feel lighter, more confident and more open to opportunities. By the end of this exercise, the thought I'm not good enough felt less like a truth and more like an outdated belief I no longer needed to hold on to. It didn't mean I stopped having moments of self-doubt or imposter syndrome that we often hear about. Those still happen, but now I know how to question those thoughts instead of letting them take over. This process has become one of the most valuable tools in my mental health journey and self-care journey, helping me see myself with greater clarity and compassion.

Kapri: 10:02

Our emotions don't just live in our minds. They show up in our bodies too. Stress might feel like tightness in your shoulders, while anxiety might create a fluttering sensation in your stomach or throughout your body. Learning to listen to these signals is a powerful way to tune into your needs. One exercise that I enjoy when I'm listening to my body is a body scan exercise. This is where you sit or you lie down and you close your eyes if it feels safe to do so, and start at the top of your head and slowly scan down to your toes, noticing any areas of tension, discomfort or ease. Breathe into areas of tension, imagining your breath softening and releasing those spots. For me, this practice has been transformative.

Kapri: 10:51

I used to ignore physical signs of stress, like a racing heart or shallow breathing or even shaky hands, until they escalated. Now I see these signals as my body's way of communicating with me and, through me, prompting me to slow down or take a break. There was a period in my life when I was completely disconnected from my body. I was constantly on the go, juggling deadlines, commitments and personal responsibilities, and I just ignored the subtle signs that my body was sending me. I thought I'll rest when everything is done, but of course everything was never done.

Kapri: 11:25

One evening, as I was wrapping up a long day, I noticed something strange. My shoulders felt like they were locked in place, my jaw was clenched and I was starting to grind my teeth uncontrollably. And then there was this tightness in my chest that felt like an elephant was on top of me and it was hard to take a deep breath. At first I dismissed it as physical exhaustion, but the sensations didn't go away. The next day I felt the same tension and by the end of the week I realized that my body was practically shouting at me to just stop, to slow down.

Kapri: 12:00

For the first time, I decided to pause, take a break, really listen. I sat down in a quiet space and I closed my eyes. I scanned my body from head to toe, asking myself where do I feel tension? Where do I feel ease? My shoulders were stiff, my breathing was shallow and my stomach was unsettled. These sensations weren't just random. They were clues about how overwhelmed I was emotionally and mentally. Instead of brushing off these feelings, I acknowledged them. I placed a hand on my chest and I said out loud I hear you, you're tired and that's okay. I took several deep breaths, focusing on letting the tightness in my chest soften with each exhale. For the first time in weeks, I felt a sense of release, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. That moment taught me the importance of tuning into my body, not just when something feels wrong, but as a regular practice. Now I make it a point to check in with myself throughout the day. If I notice tension or discomfort, I pause, take a deep breath and ask what does my body need right now? It might be a stretch, a break, or even just a glass of water, but those small acts of care remind me to stay connected to myself. Listening to my body has become a vital part of how I manage stress and how I maintain balance in life. I want to spend a moment to share with you how I embrace acceptance.

Kapri: 13:30

Acceptance is a practice of acknowledging what's happening in our lives without resistance or judgment. It doesn't mean we have to like or agree with everything. It means we stop fighting reality and start working with it. I often reflect on the serenity prayer. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. This framework reminds us to focus on what's within our control, while letting go of the struggle against what we can't change in our control. While letting go of the struggle against what we can't change, acceptance frees up energy for meaningful action.

Kapri: 14:28

There was a time in my life when I faced a significant professional setback. A project I had poured my heart and soul into didn't go the way I'd hoped, despite my efforts. External factors beyond my control led to outcomes that felt disappointing. I kept replaying the situation in my head, asking myself what could I have done differently and feeling stuck in a loop of self-blame and frustration. At the time, the idea of acceptance felt impossible. How could I accept something that felt so unfair and out of alignment with what I wanted. But as the days turned into weeks, I realized that my resistance wasn't changing the situation. It was changing. It was only deepening my stress. I was spending so much energy wishing things were different that I had no capacity to focus on what I could actually do next.

Kapri: 15:16

One day I sat with the reality of what had happened. I wrote down everything I was feeling, from anger to disappointment and sadness, and then asked myself well, what can I change and what do I need to let go of? The answer wasn't easy to face, but it was clear. I couldn't undo the past and I couldn't control the external factors that had influenced the outcome. What I could do was take the lessons from the experience and use them to move forward. That moment of acceptance wasn't about giving up or minimizing what happened. It was about freeing myself from the weight of resistance. I repeated to myself something I heard before but never fully internalized what's done is done, but what comes next is up to me. By embracing acceptance, I found clarity and direction. I stopped focusing on what I couldn't change and started channeling my energy into what I could. That shift allowed me to approach future projects with more wisdom, resilience and confidence. Looking back, I realized that acceptance doesn't mean liking or agreeing with everything that happens. It simply means acknowledging reality as it is so we can find the freedom to grow and move forward. It's not easy, but it's one of the most liberating lessons I've learned.

Kapri: 16:39

The way we talk to ourselves matters. Affirmations are a simple yet powerful way to replace negative self-talk with empowering beliefs. When repeated consistently, they can help reshape how we see ourselves and our potential. For example, an affirmation could look like I am capable of growth and change. I am worthy of love and care. I have the strength to face today with courage and compassion. I can rewrite my story whenever I choose.

Kapri: 17:12

One time, I found myself stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk. I was taking on new responsibilities and constantly questioning my abilities. The thought I'm not capable enough for this played on a loop in my mind, no matter how much effort I put into my work. I felt like I wasn't enough. Worse, I started avoiding opportunities where I might be challenged. Like I wasn't enough. Worse, I started avoiding opportunities where I might be challenged, convinced that I would fail One day.

Kapri: 17:36

My husband suggested that I restart the use of affirmations. At first I was skeptical because it had been a while since I had used affirmations and I thought how can repeating words to myself change anything? But I was willing to try something different and to start this again. So I decided to give it a shot, with much more intention and focus than I did before, and I chose a simple affirmation I am capable and deserving of success. At first it felt a little awkward and unnatural. I would say it in my head before a meeting or repeat it to myself while looking in the mirror. But I didn't truly believe it. Still, I stuck with it. Over time, something surprising happened. Those words started to sink in. They became a counterbalance to the negative thoughts that used to dominate my mind.

Kapri: 18:27

One moment stands out vividly. I was preparing for a high stakes presentation that I had been dreading for weeks. As the day approached, the usual doubts crept in You're going to mess this up. You don't know enough. But instead of spiraling, I paused, took a deep breath and repeated my affirmation I am capable and deserving of success. I said it again and again until the negative thoughts lost their grip. When I stood in front of that audience that day, I didn't feel completely fearless. I felt steady, the presentation went well and, for the first time, I gave myself credit for my preparation and effort, instead of brushing it off as luck. The experience taught me the power of affirmations and belief. They didn't magically erase my doubts, but they gave me a new narrative to lean on, a narrative that empowered me to show up as my full self.

Kapri: 19:24

To this day, I use affirmations regularly, especially during moments of self-doubt. They remind me that I am not defined by my fears or past mistakes, but by my ability to grow, learn and keep moving forward. Let's try a quick practice together. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, repeat the affirmation I am enough, just as I am. I am enough just as I am. Notice how it feels to say those words and repeat them as often as you need throughout your day.

Kapri: 20:00

Now, one element that is often overlooked when we talk about emotional well-being and self-care is rest. It is an essential part of emotional well-being. Sleep helps the mind process emotions, store memories and restore balance. Yet when we're stressed or overwhelmed, it's often the first thing to suffer. So I want you to practice some sleep hygiene that can help you to rest well and to improve your emotional regulation. One is to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, even on the weekends. Use your bed only for sleep to strengthen the association with rest. Now, you might use your bed for a few other things, right, but make sure you're primarily using your bed for sleep. So that means no laptops, gadgets, devices, et cetera, et cetera unless these are devices that are going to enable and empower you to get a good night rest. Also, you want to avoid stimulants like caffeine, alcohol or heavy meals before bedtime and create a calming sleep environment. Cool, dark and quiet is usually best. If your mind is racing, try deep breathing or a mindful countdown from nine to zero. Remind yourself that nighttime worries often feel different in the morning and if you're wide awake, get out of bed and read something calming until you feel sleepy.

Kapri: 21:31

I used to pride myself on being able to function with very little sleep, and by very little I mean four hours or less. This is a toxic culture and trait. I picked up working in New York City at a big four firm where sleep was deprioritized and work, work, work was the priority. Late nights spent working or overthinking felt like badges of honor in my busy life, but over time I began to notice the cracks forming. I was constantly irritable, emotionally reactive and struggled to focus. Even minor challenges felt overwhelming, and my ability to think clearly or regulate my emotions became harder and harder. One particularly difficult night stands out in my memory, as I was lying in bed completely exhausted, but my mind refused to quiet down. Thoughts raced about everything I needed to do, everything I hadn't done and every mistake I thought I had made. Hours passed and I kept thinking what if I don't fall asleep at all? How will I function tomorrow? The harder I tried to force myself to sleep, the more anxious I became. By the morning time I felt defeated. That night was a wake-up call, literally and figuratively. I realized I needed to change my relationship with rest and prioritize sleep as a form of self-care.

Kapri: 22:50

I started by learning about sleep hygiene and adopting a consistent bedtime routine. One of the biggest changes I made was creating a calming ritual before bed turning off screens an hour beforehand, drinking herbal tea and journaling my thoughts to clear my mind. One practice that really helped was reframing my mindset around sleepless nights. Instead of thinking when I couldn't sleep, I began telling myself rest is valuable. Even if sleep doesn't come right away, it's okay to simply lie here in this bed and let my body relax. That shift alone took so much pressure off and reduced the anxiety that kept me awake. Another night I tried a breathing technique that I had read about, counting down from nine to zero with each breath, or practicing the four, seven, eight technique that I talked about in previous episodes. I remember thinking this just sounds too simple to work, but to my surprise, it helped calm my racing thoughts. I didn't fall asleep immediately, but I felt a sense of peace that allowed me to rest instead of ruminate.

Kapri: 23:59

Over time, these changes made a profound difference. I still have occasional restless nights, but I no longer spiral into panic when they happen. Sleep has become a priority in my life, spiral into panic when they happen. Sleep has become a priority in my life not just because it restores my body, but because it's the foundation for emotional regulation. When I'm rested, I can face challenges with a clearer mind and a steadier heart. That's a lesson I wish I had learned sooner, but one I'm deeply grateful for now.

Kapri: 24:27

Mental health and well-being and self-care is not about achieving perfection. It's about building a compassionate, curious relationship with yourself. By reconnecting with your inner world, reframing negative thoughts, listening to your body and prioritizing rest, you create a foundation for resilience and growth. Thank you for being part of this conversation today. Resilience and growth. Thank you for being part of this conversation today. Whether you're listening, reading along or engaging in another way, I'm grateful for your time and presence. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. Follow Reframing the Membrane, crossing Boundaries, and connect with me through your reflections or topic suggestions. Take care of yourself. Each moment is an opportunity to nurture your mind, body and spirit. Until next time, I wish you peace, clarity and rest on your journey.